|Squidward vs Benson|
|Release Date||September 18th, 2014|
|Previous||Sonic vs Road Runner|
|Next||Horrid Henry vs Dennis the Menace|
|Actors||Zander Kanack |
No matter how much you complain, your ass is now working for me!
Oh wait, I don’t hire slackers that kiss other people's asses
No wonder everyone in Bikini Bottom thinks that you’re a bastard!
Do I even need to try? I can get Skips to fuck up your squid ass,
And your nose is bigger than Mr. Krab’s weird fetish for cash!
How can you even battle, even Patrick thinks that you’re a prick!
Grow some balls, no one wants to get near that Bikini Bottom dick!
Could you be quiet?! I’m trying to play my clarinet, you’re being rude!
Quit rapping and go back to shouting at employee's for being better than you!
You’re a candy machine with his patience too small!
My voice is annoying? You sound like you’ve been kicked in your gumballs!
I don’t even need to swear to say that your show shouldn’t be on TV,
You need to stop being a little bitch, and this is coming from me!
You're gonna lose, you're gonna prove, that you’re a hypocrite and a liar!
I'm gonna break your nose, because this time YOU’RE FIRED!
Yes, I am a candy machine, thats why my rhymes are fucking sweet!!
You work at the Krusty Krab, this isn't the first time you've tasted defeat!
You slacker! Stop holding that clarinet like its a god damn dildo!
Face it you’re gay, it says it in your name, Mr. Tentacles!
You’re the reason your show sucks just like your career!
A mutated squid trying to rap is the last thing that I fear!
Stop slacking, your music is like your career, pure dirt!
Now stop sucking SpongeBob's dick and GET BACK TO WORK!
WHAT WORK?! I’m not the one with a dispenser as a vagina!
You don’t belong in a cartoon you belong in a fast food diner!
I’ll lyrically beat you too death, your glass head will shatter!
I would ink you till you're blind, but I have to control my bladder!
I’m under the sea, you’re just some washed up turd!
I’m about to leave you more embarrassed than when you say that word!
Take anger management, and stop yelling you're making my ears bleed,
And those so called rhymes you're spitting is just like you're job, plain shitty!
|Squidward vs Benson|
|Release Date||June 18, 2017 (YouTube)|
May 25, 2017 (SoundCloud)
|Previous||Uncle Grandpa vs Goku|
|Next||Lapis Lazuli vs Flame Princess|
Squidward vs Benson is the 33rd installment of Epic Cartoon Made Rap Battles and also a remake of the Season 2 battle of the same name. It features the annoyed squid, Squidward Tentacles, against the angry candy machine, Benson. It was released on June 18, 2017.
Once upon a time, there were two ugly barnacles...
And they decided to have a rap battle...
(Benson is in normal, Mordecai is in italics, Rigby is underlined, Mordecai and Rigby at the same time is in bold)
I’m past passing the salt when a battle’s on the table
Burning you harder than your cooking when I diss the distasteful
I’m killin’ you on this mic; you’ll finally meet your Hopes and Dreams
I’ve seen you more fired up when you were pistachio ice cream!
Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost’s show’s support is out of life
Cause I’m steppin’ on you like it was the beach or you’re on Strike
What I spit shocks; Rigby! My verse’s wiring is faulty (ugghhh)
You reside in the ocean, it’s no wonder you’re salty (OOOOHHH!)
I drive a cheap bargain for a Naive Man From Lolliland
Cause with a Jinx, you flip worth being thrifted or thrown a trash can
Try to Think Positive, because you’re just sore from losin’
But you still happen to be a bigger douche than Susan
I like to shatter glass-domed slackers when I see ‘em!
You’re trippin’ on your own gumballs; 2 in the AM PM
Kit to gumball machines: leave them in a one-fifty Piece
Please just leave so I can play my Clarinet in peace
Quit slacking on these beats, Pinocchio! Yeah chill out, dude!
Mordecai can’t compare when it comes to your rude attitude
You’re a suck-up, kissed a Krab’s butt; makes me wonder why I bother
In this ‘Fiasco!’; I bring ‘The Power’ to blow a Squid Out of Water
I spit it hotter, your whole verse was dragged-on like a Golf Cart
You’re like the Dali of the deep sea if he’d sucked at making art!
Let me ‘Rap it Up’ here, lyrical structure’s what you require
Serving burns to roast Smoked Calamari because you’re fired!
(Squidward is in normal, SpongeBob is Underlined)
...Still here? I’d thought you beat it and hit on your drums
I kick a Squid outta my House if he doesn’t take my Fancy-son
The only thing you’d rock is banding with Pat like Krabs for a buck
SPONGEBOB! He wants to be served, Grilled Cheese Deluxe (Okay, Squidward!)
(ARGH!) This Cheezers sleazeball is making me go bananas
When I Say That Word, he’s lost his hair or battle to bandanas
You’re more full of McFluff than one of your cats on the internet
Your ugly mug’s the World’s Best Boss at Most Likely Sucking Eggs