|John F. Kennedy vs Julius Caesar (IRBoC)|
|Release Date||June 6th, 2013|
|Previous||George Lucas vs Stan Lee|
|Next||Benjamin Franklin vs Ron Burgundy|
|Actors||Mancha (UBERocity) |
|Rappers||Julius Caesar |
John F. Kennedy
Marcus Junius Brutus
Lee Harvey Oswald
John Wilkes Booth
John F. Kennedy vs Julius Caesar is the eighth installment of Intense Rap Battles of Craziness. It features 35th President of the United States, John F. Kennedy, against former Roman dictator, Julius Caesar. It was released on June 6th, 2013.
Veni, vidi, vici, and I'll do the same right to your ass,
It's impossible to back down against me since the die's bee cast!
Gaius Julius Caesar! That's my name, bitch, don't forget it!
Orating better than Cicero in this battle of wits!
You'll be invaded like Gaul, easily, bunch of sissies,
What can I do for your country? I'll destroy it, little missy!
People think you're a great president, but I gotta chuckle,
Even wimpy little Britain gave up more of a struggle!
John F. Kennedy:Edit
I look at you and see nothing but a fag with leaves on his head,
Try messing with a president, no doubt you'll end up dead!
I'm serving up deep dishes like your lil' pizza pizza,
You're a little squirt and you know I'm gonna beatchya, beatchya!
I'm the winner of this battle, so build me a triumphal arch,
My raps are stabbing you like Brutus on the Ides of March!
I'll beat 'ya into Caesar salad while your people starve away,
Try to acknowledge this American rap and screw off to Pompey!
That verse was a bigger fail than a certain bay of pigs,
You've been finished since the opening, broken like a twig!
You're in a crisis with missiles of the verbal fucking kind,
Oh, your brain was blown off, so I'll give you a piece of my mind!
I've got a motherfucking calendar named after me,
What about you? an airport? Lame shit, Kennedy!
You lost the space race, dick face, you'll be gone without a trace,
As I chase this defaced bat-shit case into disgrace!
John F. Kennedy:Edit
You've upset me, Julius, I want to rid of you like Crassus,
I have the power to take whole armies and drop them on their asses!
So that's President Kennedy to you, 'ya foreign bastard,
In this rap competition, I spit raps way faster!
Just a chilling in the White House while you're in the desert grilling,
Ripping raps and shitting raps, crushing you like you're a villain!
I didn't know we were racing here, so slow down 'ya pirate bitch,
Why don't you actually fight and stop sucking Sulla's dick!
(Switches to Marcus Junius Brutus vs Lee Harvey Oswald after Kennedy gets shot)
Marcus Junius Brutus:Edit
You're almost a copy of me, your style is very dry,
Pack your bags, you bastard, and say your final goodbyes,
So weak that you even had to use a gun?
See, that's not very exciting, and not very fun!
You pussy, obviously I'm the best assassin,
Since I have all this time, you'll be the one I'm trashing,
You got killed after you blew off Kennedy's head,
So come a bit closer to me, and again, you'll be dead!
Lee Harvey Oswald:Edit
I'm the undertaker, it'd be best to prepare the plots,
I'll take you out like Kennedy, in just three shots!
You crazy-ass Roman, bow down and you'll see,
I made millions shiver with my acts, call me Lee!
There's not a chance you'll survive this, I can see simply,
You may have come before me, but you wish you were me!
I'm powerful, took out a man with full power,
You and the rest of the stinky Romans could all use a shower!
It's the beard, hat and legs, here to finish off some idiots,
Killing is just as bad as slavery, don't you get it?
I'll proclaim my victory as the greatest to ever unfold,
The sixteenth lord of the land is known throughout the world!
Went from the prairies to the White House to become the greatest,
I'll assassinate assassins, I'm the bravest!
Not even vampires or zombies could handle old honest, Abe,
So let me be the one to introduce you to your graves!
John Wilkes Booth:Edit
My old pal, Abe, would you like a seat or a Booth?
You were no American hero to me, ain't that the truth?
You were truly honest, how'd that bullet feel? Tell me!
The only vampires you could take on are from the Twilight movies!
I was a stage actor who never got the credit he deserved,
I've got a front row balcony seat for you reserved!
I'm a straight shooting motherfucker when it comes to guns and rhymes,
So sit back and enjoy as I play with your mind!