|Alder vs Iris|
|Release Date||October 16th, 2014|
|Previous||Mario vs Link|
|Next||Uber Rap Battles of Fiction vs Intense Rap Battles of Craziness|
|Actors||Madisson (IRBoC) |
Alder vs Iris is the nineteenth installment of Intense Rap Battles of Craziness. It features Champion of Unova region's Elite Four, Alder, against Master Dragon-type Trainer, Iris. It was released on October 16th, 2013.
Ladies first, but I'm not likely the first one to whoop your ass,
You dress like some kind of yoga instructor, get some class!
You ginger, do you really call what you've got a winning team?
At least try battling me, you could only win in your dreams!
Now let me tell you a thing or two about being the best,
You and me battling it out, that's not really a test!
I'm powerful, you're worthless, face my All-Star Dragons,
I'll break you so hard, your Nintendo will be lagging!
Somebody please tell me why I'm taking more crap from you,
I'm the original champion! Ha! There's nothing you can do!
I just got tired of dealing with these puny weaklings,
So I sent them another weakling to make them feel a need!
To really become the best, to do that, they gotta face yours truly,
Gym leader in half the game, seriously, tell me, what are you doing?
You were dethroned faster than Team Rocket or Giovanni,
I was raised not to hit girls, ha, but I'm not sorry!
Now I've seen many bad verses, but none as bad as that,
I'm a level 100 Hydreigon, and you're a level 5 Zubat!
I'm not a weakling, just a girl who can kick all ass,
These raps are your knockout, hitting the ground fast!
Dragon-types? Big whoop! They just got more useless!
I'll never stop defeating you, my rampage is ruthless!
You're exactly like Clair, you're both worthless try-hards,
My vicious rap attack will leave you seeing stripes and stars!
Silence both of you and submit to the dominating factor,
Alder, winning a battle, friend, you've got it backwards,
When I hear your name, all that comes to mind is a poser,
That red hair of yours doesn't reflect your spirit, you loser!
My skills, the only accurate description is flawless,
Iris, you're just a female version of Wallace!
I'm a one-man All-Star team, there's nothing you can say to that,
So Milotic, hit them with a Hydro Pump Attack!
I'm laughing as you two bicker like little mofo's,
But here, I'm the master, bitches, welcome to my Dojo!
Iris, just stop it, I'm begging you on my knees,
Do something fucking original and stop copying me!
Alder, go meditate and smoke your damn peyote,
Serving your lame ass? I'd rather listen to Gotye!
Cynthia, you only get one line 'cause you think girls can be winners,
When in reality, you should be home making my fucking dinner!
Treating a woman like that when you look like one, you prick!
You're less of a threat than Bidoof, so suck your own dick!
I'm the master with the balls, while you guys can only poke,
Saying I'd lose to any of you is like Hoenn's top joke!
With my Aggron and Claydol and Metagross, you're screwed!
Can't stop the Cham Steven from walking all over you,
I'm the best guy with the best team, I'm a shining Starmie,
None of you could do jack-shit against my Pokemon army!
This battle's been dragon on long enough, now it's time for a finisher!
I'm the most OG of OG champions, Lance, the mighty pillager!
A black girl in Pokemon? Not just that, but a champion?
Alder, by the time you've caught them all, I'd have caught ten-million!
Cynthia, you're blonde, that explains all your bad decisions,
Wallace, do you wanna marry Steven? That's your true ambition!
I love how Steven sticks up for the ladies, you're such a fruitcake,
You could all come at me, but that'd be a fucking big mistake!
Hey, what the hell is up with you chumps?
Battle of the champions, and you never called me up?
I'm the first, the OG, the one you all copied,
You took Charmander, I got Squirtle, hehe, sorry!
With my well balanced team, I got swag by the thousands!
And you all know, I'm the one the bitches be hounding!
Got so many Pokes, gotta transport them by freighter!
So you just try to live up to me, and I'll smell you later!
I was debating on rapping 'cause that was all so lame,
I'm the star of all the games, my name is in the hall of fame!
Blue, you're just blue 'cause all you taste is just defeat,
And Lance, you look gay, please don't drop your pants to your feet!
Steven, you're just an emotional blue-haired boy in a tuxedo,
And Wallace, I could whoop you with a level one Weedle!
Cynthia, I'll take you home, but you're still not a challenge!
And Alder, meditate all you want, you won't gain any talent!
Iris, what are you doing? Gamefreak must have made a mistake,
Get your Pokemon out of your hair and shut up for Arceus' sake!
Here from first, continuing on into the sixth generation,
I may not be considered a champion, but I rule all the nations!